I'm a million times more humble than thou art

Before I launch into this: I am a Christian. I believe Jesus is the Christ and the Son of God. I love him and try to follow him.

This is a commentary on some things I see going on this time of year.

It seems to me that if one is a Christian, one would behave more like Christ and not so much like a pouty brat.

Such as assuming that all of one's family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, or strangers on one's street all believe the same things about Christ and Christianity that one does. They don't - couldn't possibly. There's not much that can be scientifically proven about Jesus. Faith in him is a personal thing. Even members of the same church might disagree about one or two points.

Such as insisting that Christmas is the only religious holiday in December. It isn't, and while the others may seem unholy or ungodly, other people believe they are holy and godly, or at least worth celebrating. It's no reflection on Christians that other people believe in or want to celebrate other things.

Such as getting one's knickers in a twist when someone else says "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". Go ahead and wish people a merry Christmas. Just don't get bugged when other people say something else. Jews have been listening to some equivalent of "Merry Christmas" for a long time.

I'm not saying Christians need to become politically correct or sanitized versions of themselves; I'm saying calm down, be humble. It's a holiday. It's one day out of the year. It's not even Christ's real birthday. I really don't think he would freak about this stuff.

What I do get my Christian shorts in an uproar about - the one thing I would change, though it's actually pretty stupid and petty - is that the local news media won't call the big lit-up tree in Pioneer Courthouse Square

A CHRISTMAS TREE.

Is there another holiday that is celebrated with a tree?

But like I said, it doesn't really matter. I doubt the Lord is that invested in our celebrating His birth with decorated evergreens.

I love Christmas and I'm happy it's here again. It can bring out the very best and kindest and most generous in people. It would be nice if we could keep it just to that.

Priding herself on her humility,
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I am SO sick of cop-bashing.

Bashing in general, but cop-bashing in particular.

Not there aren't less-than-great ones, or that I love it when they follow me down the road. But all this Occupy stuff has me sick of "bad cop" stories, particularly after hearing Occupy Portland's sniveling, whining, spoiled brat garbage. These officers are working a lot of hours and having to waste precious time on Occupiers' crap, when they should be out serving the REAL 99%.

I had more sympathy for the Occupy protesters earlier on. Then they started holding press conferences. They are among the snottiest and most deluded people I've ever seen. And I have teenagers!

Ugh!,
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So You Hate Twilight.

Fine.

Just don't keep going on and on about it. It makes you look like you're secretly obsessed with it.

I'm talking to YOU, Stephen King. What, have Stephenie's books and movies outsold yours? Money grubber?

Doesn't care if vampires sparkle, since vampires are FICTIONAL,
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Oh, the Phrases You'll Google!

1) Avery Schreiber

Remember the Match Game show from the 70s? Avery was a frequent guest - he always sat on the top left spot next to Brett Somers. Yeah, you remember. I think he was on The Love Boat at least once. Apparently he was funny, or something? He's kind of before my time (which is saying something).

2) Irena Warsaw Ghetto

In this enlightened age of debunked urban legends, I don't know how or why these old email forwards still make their way into people's inboxes (ahem, my parents' generation), but every so often, one email produces quite a gem, and Irena Sendler is one of those. Read her moving and amazing story here. She's my newest hero.

3) Fifty butts in the ashtray, I've got those Vantage blues again

From Saturday Night Live, a spoof advertisement for a fake LP titled "Stretch Marks". Gilda Radner played the singer. My siblings and I are Gilda fans and have her "Best Of" SNL video memorized. Interestingly, Google failed this test - it was as if this "Vantage Blues" song existed only in my brain, a beyond-scary prospect. I was thrilled to find the video.


(one naughty word)

Up since 3 AM,
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Occupy W1nco Parking Lot

Yesterday, I did something I'd never done before: I bought homemade tamales from a lady selling them from her pickup outside W1nco.

She approached me as I was walking back to my car, pushing a cartful of Halloween pumpkins.  I didn't understand her at first; I figured she was one of the usual panhandlers asking for money. 

Once I understood, I looked at her and decided she looked safe - well-groomed, clean, nice hair, clothes in good repair.  I followed her to her truck, also clean and in good repair, and I hoped no one was waiting in the truck bed to jump out and hack me to death - at least there would be witnesses.

Then I ate the tamales, which was also an adventure.  (Don't try to eat the corn husks.)  They were awesome, and never at any point of the adventure did I regret my decision.

I don't know if you've been following the Occupy movement, but a city I know and love, Portland, has been inundated with protesters.  I know they're unhappy and ready for a change and that times are hard, but I can't get behind them in their current state.  They don't know what they're about or who they're fighting or what exactly they want or what they're trying to accomplish.  And they're making a beautiful place decidedly unbeautiful (and making the mayor look wimpy).

I would much rather give my support to people like this lady selling tamales.  She performed honorable work, and she worked when there was no work.  She put herself in an uncomfortable situation to sell her product - thick accent, approaching strangers in an unorthodox (unsafe?) place, exchanging money for tamales from her car, out in the weather.  She was brave and industrious and resourceful, and she dared to hope that someone somewhere would want to buy tamales.  She DID something.

I know it's not that simple - we can't put all those Portland protesters to work making tamales.  But what they're doing now doesn't seem to be helping their situation much, let alone anyone else's. 

Still experiencing some awesome heartburn,
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